Remus' day of recruitment
by princessezzy
Summary: all he wanted was to have a peaceful bath! now he's being attacked by mad aurors and people attempting to rob then sell him stuff. Ah well, it's 1 of those days and the order does need new recruits! slight angst at begining but gets funnier


**A/N ok, so the stories a bit slow getting started but gets funnier, please read on!**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, along with the many millions that accompany the possession of him!**

The owl swooped in and dropped the letter directly in his cereal and circled back out his window. Remus sighed, why did stuff like that always happen to him? People always seemed to think he had a normal life, if only that were true.

He picked up the letter and began cleaning up the mess of milk and cereal currently spreading across the table.

_Dear Remus,_

_I bring sad tidings; the Dark Lord has risen again. I know you wish to rejoin the Order once more so to do as much as you can, alas I fear there just aren't enough like you._

_You, as someone who suffered greatly from the losses in the first war will know that many from the previous Order have departed from us and thus we are in dire need of new recruits._

Remus winced, the letter was summoning an old but still eating pain

_This is where you come in, I need you to look for and report back to me potential recruits._

_You know the specification but I have added a few more criteria:_

_They must have already graduated and hopefully already have a career_

He understood this one, thinking back him and his friends had been rather young

_They must have a good grasp at DADA or possibly have useful contacts, both types are critically needed for the Order._

_They must come to you and not you to them. This is important Remus as they must show they are willing_

He could understand this one to, would wormtail have approached the Order if all his friends hadn't pestered him to? He thought not.

_I hope to hear from you soon,_

_Albus Dumbledore _

Coming to me not the other way round, not many people wanted to approach a werewolf and he wasn't exactly the most sociable of people, even if he was easy to get on with.

Remus shook his head, what he needed was a bath, yes that was it, a bath would help him think.

Alas this was not to be for just as he was thinking this a young aura was getting ready for her first ever interview with a suspect.

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Nymphadora Tonks was raring to go. It was her first interview today and it was personal. She was to interview an old friend of the convict Sirius Black about his hiding place.

She was supposed to have sent him an owl warning him of their approaching meeting but had decided against it. Her mother had spoken of them being as thick as thieves so the chances were he did know something.

Her mother had also spoken of him as being tricky, never giving a straight answer. She wanted the advantage of surprise, also so he wouldn't have the chance of getting away.

Of course if she'd asked her mother she would also have said that their friendship included a one James Potter, to whom they were just as close but who had apparently already been betrayed by his friends. She would have talked about what a polite, noble person he had seemed, not one to run away.

Of course, Tonks never asked her mother.

Kingsley shook his head, his partner seemed to be a bit over zealous about their mission. To tell the truth he felt a bit sorry for the man.

From what he could tell Remus Lupin was a man with an unfortunate past. Tonks insisted he had it all coming to him.

It seemed to him Remus Lupin was someone with a clear record, only tarnished by past associations and a curse that wasn't his fault. Tonks just insisted he had never been caught.

Yep, this was a man to pity.

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Remus stepped into his bath and lay down. Ahh that felt good. He lay his head down, letting the water consume him and the peace which accompanied it wash over him.

Tonks burst through the door. "All right Mr Lupin we are here to ask you a few questions, don't be alarmed."

No response

Tonks looked around at the empty flat. "where is he?" She muttered. Kingsley sighed and, speaking slowly, replied " this is why we send owls Tonks. So that the person knows to be in, among other things" the last part was spoken to quietly for the witch to hear.

The witch in question was already moving further into the flat. "Show yourself Mr Lupin or I shall be forced to use other methods!"

She came to the bathroom and noticed it was locked, "ah ha! Come out now Mr Lupin or I shall be forced to come in!"

Still no reply

"Very well! You leave me know no choice!" and with that she used her wand to open the door and stepped in.

First she noticed the bath. Then she noticed the water in the bath. Then she noticed the man in the water in the bath. Then she noticed his body

_Wooo he's hot…"_

When she stopped staring at him she finally noticed something.

_Oh bugger I burst in on the suspect having a bath. But wait no one need know! Yes if I just back up…_

Into a wet patch. The next thing she knew she was in the bath. On top of the suspect.

Remus had been lying peacefully in the bath, contemplating if he should join some sort of social club, as he couldn't for the life of him think how else he was going to recruit people. Suddenly a great weight fell on him pushing him under.

His eyes shot open only to be blinded by pink tendrils. A desperate struggle ensued. Finally Remus' head shot up out of the water, gasping for breath, only to find a wide eyed, pink haired thing starring at him.

Going into shock, his oxygen deprived brain could only think of one thing to say.

"_What the hell!"_

The fore-mentioned pink thing seemed to snap out of her trance then, and into blind panic. Grabbing him she starting screaming at him.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Remus didn't know what to do, nothing could prepare you for being attacked and roughly manhandled in your own bath.

A dark skinned man bursting into his bathroom presently saved him.

"What the…"

Taking in the scene before him, he sighed.

"Oh Tonks not again…"

Pulling his partner out the bath he turned to the dazed man.

"I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, if you wouldn't mind getting dressed I'm sure we can sort this out."

And with that he was gone, dragging his attacker with him. Remus just sat their gazing at the spot the other 2 had been, then shook his head, it was going to be one of those days was it.

In the kitchen negotiations were taking place. After them being there was explained, Kingsley and Remus proceeded to have a civilised discussion concerning Sirius and Voldermort.

Tonks just sat there, her head bowed.

"I'm sorry about her, she's a great Auror, just a little on the clumsy side."

_Damn Kingsley! Showing her up in front of the cute suspect after she'd already made a fool of herself!_

But Remus just smiled at her, letting her known she'd been forgiven.

_The cute, nice, kind suspect!_

"Well if any Death Eaters do bother you" said Kingsley, rising to go to the door, "Just let us know."

"Thank you, but I think I can handle myself, after all I'm now prepared if they attack me in the bath, however there are people who do need protecting."

"I know and we want to do all we can, well, bye now." And with that they were gone.

_Hmm _thought Remus _you do now?_

Just round the corner, a certain Auror was getting a mouthful.

"Tonks, what in God's name were you doing in his bath!"

"I tripped"

"I know you tripped! That doesn't mean you have the right to attack the poor man! Taking advantage of the poor guy when he's at his weakest!"

"I wasn't taking advantage of him! God you make me sound like some sort of man-eater!" Then mumbling to herself " Though he was kind of hot."

Kingsley shook his head, " Tonks when we get back I'm giving you a lecture on misusing power."

"I thought I was mis-using my feminly wiles."

"When a man is in the bath they're the same thing!"

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This looked like a good place to start. He shuffled stealthily towards the flat. The door was unlocked excellent. On the outside it looked like a rather dingy, small flat, but he'd learnt from experience that places like this often contained treasures.

Entering, he found the interior was as shabby as the exterior, but it was clean, so whoever lived here couldn't be completely useless. Better start searching.

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Remus had just been settling back in his bath when he heard it. A sort of shuffling followed by a lot of incohort mumbling.

_Why?_ He thought in despair_ why couldn't the world just bugger off and leave him alone? At least until he'd had his bath._

Sighing he got up to investigate; after all it was one of_ those_ days.

In the kitchen he found a short man going through all his stuff, examining it, then putting it down to pick up something else.

Remus watched from the doorway then strode over to the intruder.

"Excuse me would you mind explaining what your doing?"

The man jumped an looked around.

"You live here d'you?"

"Why yes I do"

The man looked around.

"Sorry 'bout the flat."

"What, that you were trying to rob me?"

"Nah, that you live so pathetically, there's nothin' here worth stealing." He paused, "but about the robbin' part also."

Remus sat down. "That's good of you, but I could of told you about the nothing being worth anything thing if you'd asked."

The man shifted uncomfortably. "Listen I feel a bit bad so, if you want, I could give you a good deal on…something or other." He looked up hopefully, "What d'ya say?"

Looking at him curiously, Remus asked "Your well connected then, I take it?"

"Yep, only don't say anything, all right."

"Well I'm going to have to refuse your kind offer, but there may be something else you can do for me. What's your name by the way?"

"Mundungus, and you just name it…"

"Remus, Remus Lupin."

"All right, see ya about then." And with that he shuffled out the door.

_What a strange man. Now, time for that bath._

He was just lowering himself into those lukewarm depths when the door burst open.

"Oy, Moony mate! Have you heard Voldermort's returned and Dumbledore told me to lie low at yours so…"

He trailed off at the sight of his tired, pissed off friend.

"Ah, Sirius, nice to see you, I'm a little busy right now, so if you just sit there quietly I'll be with you in a while."

He turned and walked back, but paused at the doorway.

"And if anyone enters, take their name and hex them." And then he was gone.

Sirius, surprisingly, did as he was told and sat down.

_Ah_ he thought knowingly_ it had been one of those days had it._

**A/N ahh, poor Remus! Well done if you made it this far! And please remember to review!**


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